I Don't Deserve You
by that70sfinchelgleek
Summary: After an innocent conversation with Santana, Puck has himself wondering if he's even worthy of Rachel. Who is there to convince him otherwise? Well Rachel of course. Sorry for the awful summary! Main pairing is Puckleberry with Pucktana and Pezberry friendship. Futurefic. ONESHOT


A/N: Hey everyone! So recently I have been reading a lot of Puckleberry fanfiction and I have finally decided to write one of my own. Its only a oneshot since I've never actually written Puckleberry before but let me know if I do well and should try a multi-chapter. Okay here it is! Review please!

Puck groggily opened his eyes and yawned as he reached to his left to pull a tiny brunette to his side only to discover that she wasn't there.

His thoughts began to return to him as he woke up a little more and realized that it was already Monday which meant that his girl had rehearsal pretty much all day.

He begrudgingly dragged his body out of bed in desperate search of the kitchen.

As he walked in the sight before him pleased him very much, there stood his girlfriend of five years bent down in front their fridge digging through the drawers for something.

Puck was sure he wouldn't have stopped drooling if it weren't for a certain Latina.

"Hey Puckerman, close your mouyh before it dries out." Santana sarcastically advised with a smirk.

Puck narrowed his eyes at her. "Shut up Satan." Puck grumbled still somewhat in a sleeping state.

Rachel turned around and smiled as she heard her boyfriend's voice. "Hey, I didn't think that I would get to see you before I went to work, since you practically sleep your day away until I get home."

Rachel said jokingly as she stood on the tips of her toes to place a brief yet passion filled kiss on his lips.

"What? And miss my morning feel of your ass? No way." Puck replied with a smirk causing Rachel to playfully smack his chest.

"I'm kidding babe, of course I dragged my ass out of bed to see my gorgeous girlfriend go off to work." Puck soothed saying exactly what he knew she would want to hear as he tenderly pressed his lips against hers.

Rachel smiled gently against his lips. "Much better."

They broke out of their kiss as they heard scoffing coming from their couch. "Gross, get a room." Santana complained her face wrinkled up sourly.

"We have one and its actually in this apartment unlike yours." Puck shot back at the smirking girl.

"Actually Puckerman this couch is my room for the week. Didn't Berry tell you? My apartment is getting fumigated so your lovely lady over there volunteered your couch as my temporary bed." Santana informed with a smirk at Puck's expression of horror.

He had this same horrified look as he turned to look at his girlfriend. "No, she can't stay here!"

Rachel sighed. "Oh come on Noah, she's one of your best friends too."

Puck scoffed. "Yeah but that doesn't mean that I want to put up with Satan herself living on our couch for a week. Besides if she's here Puckzilla won't get any sweet lovin'."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Yeah like me being here has ever stopped you two before. Seriously you guys are worse than rabbits."

Rachel smacked her lips and put her hand on Puck's shoulder. "I hate to break it to you but it isn't Santana being here that will prevent that. That ship sailed the second you referred to yourself as Puckzilla. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get to rehearsal. Oh and be nice to Santana, Noah! She took work off today to get settled in so she'll be home all day." Rachel warned.

Puck sighed in defeat. "Fine."

Rachel smiled brightly. "Thanks babe, love you!"

"Love you too." Puck shouted back and turned to glare at Santana when she began laughing.

"You are so whipped." Santana said as she got her laughing under control.

"Yep and happily so."

Puck had stopped even trying to hide the fact that Rachel had him wrapped around her finger a long time ago when they had gotten into a fight about him never saying I love you in front of other people.

It was a pretty big fight that resulted in him being celibate for almost a month until he broke her. So yeah he just figured that it was easier to just make her happy than have that happen again.

Santana raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand why you two aren't even engaged yet, I mean seriously you two are so in love that it makes me want to throw up, but I can't because its so adorable."

Puck groaned. "None of your business okay San?"

Santana shrugged. "I'm just wondering, I know that if you asked she would definitely say yes."

"The asking part isn't the problem, its more of the physical aspect to that."

Santana's face scrunched up in confusion. "What the sex?"

Puck sighed. "No not the sex, believe me that's never a problem."

"Then what is it?"

"Buying a ring." Puck mumbled so lowly that she almost couldn't hear.

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because I can't."

Santana raised an eyebrow amusedly as she began walking forward. "What do you mean you can't?"

Puck clenched his fist against the counter. "I can't buy a ring because I don't have any fucking money!"

Puck may not have let it show but this was a sensitive topic for him. He had been unemployed for the last two years since the bar that he used have gigs at closed down.

Rachel hadn't minded when he could no longer contribute much to paying rent she had just been happy that he was there.

Ever since, Puck had felt completely unworthy of Rachel and sometimes wondered when she would just break up with him to be with somebody worthy of her talent and success.

Santana sensed the problem and took a step back. "You know you could just use her money right? She wouldn't care, she would be so ecstatic at the thought of spending the rest of her life with you that she wouldn't even bat an eye when you told her that you used her money."

Puck threw his hands into the exasperated. "I can't use her money to buy her an engagement ring! That's just wrong on so many levels."

Puck, tired of fighting walked to the closet and yanked his coat out.

"Where are you going?"

Puck kept his gaze on the ground. "Out, tell Rach that I'll be back later."

Santana's eyes widened when she realized that his "going out" really meant drinkibg himself senseless at a bar that was three hours away, and it was only eight-thirty in the morning. Fuck.

Santana had attempted to call him many times to tell him to get his ass home before Rachel got back but each one just went to voice mail.

Rachel was so going to kill her.

The pint sized diva got home about nine hours later and there was still no sign of Puck, which Rachel had noticed immediately and began questioning intensely.

"I am so exhausted! Rehearsal was so thorough and we did the routine at least fifty times since the director saw something wrong each time." Rachel exclaimed the moment she walked in and was shocked to not receive any response.

She walked farther into the apartment and saw Santana biting her nails while not really paying attention to whatever it was that she was watching.

"Santana?" Rachel said trying to get the other girl's attention.

Santana was immediately brought out of her thoughts and a look of almost panic appeared on her face.

"Oh uh hey Berry, how was rehearsal? " Santana questioned cluelessly.

Rachel arched an eyebrow. "Um I already announced that, very loudly I might add."

"Oh sorry I've just had a long day."

"A long day? Santana you didn't even go to work, and by the looks of it you haven't even gotten off the couch all day since you appear to be in almost the exact same position you were in when I left, and where is Noah at?"

Santana's eyes widened again, not sure how she was going to explain this.

"Uh he left."

"Well yes I gathered that, but where did he go?"

"He left town." Santana answered vaguely.

"Santana, would you please tell me where the hell Noah is and why he isn't here?" Rachel questioned concernedly as the usually loud girl had taken a much softer tone since she walked in.

Santana sighed with defeat. "Honestly Rachel I don't know, he left at like eight-thirty this morning and hasn't come back."

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "So he's been gone for almost eleven hours and you have no clue where he went?"

Santana just shrugged in hopes that her friend would stop grilling her since she had a feeling that Puck wouldn't want Rachel to know what the fight was about.

Much to Santana's relief Rachel rolled her eyes as she hurried off to her room to try and call Puck.

Santana heard Rachel groan frustratedly as she most likely also received voice mail.

This was going to be a long night.

It was almost one in the morning and even though Rachel had to work tomorrow she was still awake eagerly waiting for her boyfriend's return.

Just as Rachel began to give up the creaking of the door opening alerted her and kept her awake. Just moments later the man she was worried about quietly walked through the door most likely assuming that she was asleep and trying not to wake her.

"Where have you been?" Rachel questioned abruptly.

Puck, shocked at the suddeness and the fact that she was awake spun around.

"Babe why are you still awake?"

Rachel shrugged and held her knees to her chest. "You weren't home and I was worried. Now answer my question, where have you been?"

Puck sighed. "Rach, maybe we should sit down." Puck advised as he took her hands and led her to the side of the bed. "Look Rach, today I was doing some thinking; I didn't even go to any bars, anyway as I was saying, today I was thinking and I think you can do better."

Rachel's eyebrows knitted together. "What are you talking about?"

"Dammit Rach, what I'm saying is that I don't deserve you. You deserve somebody who can actually help pay rent or can buy you nice things and take you out every now and then, I'm a loser." Puck exclaimed frustratedly.

"You aren't a loser! Where is this even coming from?"

Puck avoided eye contact. "I know you want to get married, and possibly for some strange reason you want to get married to me. But I can't afford a ring right now Rach, and it could be a really long time before I can."

Rachel realized what he was saying now and put her hand on his thigh and held his hand with her other one. "Listen to me Noah, you aren't a loser. So what if you don't have a job right now do you honestly think I care? Just because you don't have one now doesn't mean that you won't ever have one. And of course I want to marry you, ring or not. But I understand that you want to be able to be proud of yourself and I'll respect that and wait as long as I have to." Rachel soothed and smiled softly as Puck's eyes finally met her own.

"I don't even know where to begin to become somebody who deserves you." Puck said quietly.  
There were very few times that Puck has actually spilt his feelings out like this and when he does you know that something is really bothering him.

Rachel placed a light kiss to his head. "Noah you already deserve me, but I can tell how much this bothers you so how about I call into work tomorrow and we figure it out." Rachel suggested as she comfortingly rubbed her hand on his biceps.

"I love you." Puck said, saying every thank you and emotion he had for in those three words.

Rachel pressed her lips to his. "I love you too."

Puck led her to lay down on their bed while he shut the lights off.

As Puck pulled her tightly into his arms a question crossed her mind.

"You never did tell me where you were all day." Rachel stated hoping to illicit an answer out of him.

Puck sighed. "Well I spent the first three hours just driving around, I thought about going to a bar but I didn't want to do something really dumb. Then I went to a jewelry store to see how much it would cost to get an engagement ring, damn those things are pricy. Then I just sort of drove around and thought about stuff."

Rachel turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "What kind of stuff?"

Puck smiled. "Our future, you know me with a job, us married, our kids, a nice house, the whole package."

Rachel returned the smile. "So how did you like our future?"

"I was the happiest I had ever been."

Rachel kissed him. "I can't wait."

After a few moments of silence Puck spoke. "You know I'm gonna be able to take care of us someday. We're gonna have a huge house, with a pool, and one of those swing sets for our kids. I promise." Puck said with all seriousness.

"I believe you."

A/N: So that was kind of cheesy but hopefully still cute. I know that Puck was a little OOC but hopefully you guys still liked it. Let me know if I should write more Puckleberry, or even if you guys liked it. Review please! 


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